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Life – Through Darkness Comes Beauty

Life can be complicated. It can be messy. And, it can be downright dark. Even the most optimistic, positive person can be overcome by sadness, grief, and frustration. Why? Because we’re all human and we have real emotions. I know I do.

These last few weeks have been hard. Really hard. No, not because we’re “stuck” at home under a statewide stay at home order, that I can handle. Rather, it’s the not feeling whole part that has made these last few weeks hard. I’ll admit it; I love my career. Always have. And, to now be in a position where I’m in limbo is not only frustrating, it’s emotionally taxing. It would be for anyone! I don’t put an unrealistic amount of devotion to my career; I just really enjoy what I do, and I’ve had a great career and one that I’m incredibly proud of. I’ve been able to live the “Working Mom” dream, and for that, I’m grateful. So, you see, I’ve never really had to choose, i.e., the family or the career. Thank goodness for that!

I’m motivated by many things, family being at the top of my list, of course. My kids are my world. My husband is my inspiration to LIFE itself and everything I do, I do for them. There is no compromise on this. None. I have what you would call a “servant’s heart,” and I give all of me to my family, so much so, that at times, I forget about me. This is where my career has made me whole, because, the roles I’ve had gave me a different, secondary purpose to my life and made me, well, well-rounded. I can’t explain it another way, or possibly any better. Having my professional purpose has brought me a lot of fulfillment over the years and has motivated me to be better, not just in my career, but a better mother, a better wife — just plain B-E-T-T-E-R.

To say many people are suffering right now would be a gross understatement. Some have lost more than just their jobs; some have lost lives. So, I will NOT be wallowing in self-pity. I will not think or act like this is only affecting dear little me, because it’s not. Not even close.

I believe, medically, we’ll get through this, and sooner than later. Belief can be a powerful thing.

Mentally, that’s another story — This is more than just a virus. It’s more than a pandemic that has changed the way our world functions. It’s affected the “why” and the “how.” And, that’s the thing. Some have basked in the glory of being their typical introvert selves, while others have been shaken to the core. I’m a glorified homebody, but I appreciate getting out and enjoying all that life can offer, so to have that be put on pause is hard. And, then are those who rely on getting out of the house as it’s the only way they can guarantee a warm meal, or even worse, possibly someone suffering at the hands of domestic abuse and having nowhere else to go. So, NO. I won’t be having a pity party. I’m incredibly fortunate. I’m safe, well-fed, have a husband who I actually enjoy spending time with, and kids that I adore (even though they rake my nerves!). We’ve been honestly given a gift – TIME. We always complained we never had enough of it, and here it is.

Instead of running around like crazy parents on the weekends for classes, activities, kids’ parties, and whatever else was on the list, we do US. We’re sleeping in and taking advantage of the extra cuddle time in the morning. Heck, lunch can be a great first meal, right? 😉It’s shocking to see how many pajamas I had and never knew it. The neighbors likely think we’re the biggest slobs, but you know what, my house is the cleanest it’s ever been. And, get this… the kids HELP! They’ve started helping me with “chores,” and we’ve made it fun. And dinners? YUP. Not as much take-out or drive-thru service on the way home. I’ve been cooking — Fresh concept, right? I mean, don’t get me wrong, we’ve been doing the whole Uber Eats, Grubhub, Postmates, etc. thing, too – We have to give back to the local guys!

The kids are so off schedule, it’s hilarious – But, you know what? It’s OK! They are happy, healthy, and safe. They’re thriving in all the ways that matter, and that’s a WIN in my book! They miss their classmates like crazy, but they know they’ll see each other again. In the meantime, we’ve been doing “Zoom parties,” and they’ve enjoyed it. And, the best part of the whole thing? As a family, we’ve started to TALK to each other more. Yes, talk. So basic, right? We’ve taken the time to speak with one another, and it’s been great. Lastly, we’ve recently formed a new appreciation for outdoor living. We chose the house we’re in now in large part because of the backyard, but since we’ve lived here (2 years!), we’ve barely enjoyed it! This past Friday, I invested in a large cantilever style umbrella with LED lights for the patio table, a basic umbrella for the deck table, a sandbox for the kids, a few new outdoor toys, and some pretty plants. Just these few things made a HUGE difference in our yard, and we’ve spent SO much time out there this weekend. WIN! We ate outside on Friday night, and it was fabulous!

The point of all of this is, take this TIME to appreciate what truly matters to you. Take this time for YOU and re-learn the basics of what makes LIFE so damn amazing! And, take solace in knowing that these are memory-making days that will live on with you and your family forever. COVID-19 will become a distant memory, but what you do right now will live on… make it count!

There is darkness out there, yes. There is sadness, absolutely. There is hopelessness, true. But, there’s also light, positivity, and perseverance, and that’s what I’m trying to focus on — It’s all I can do. It’s a choice. It’s a mindset.

Even in the darkness, it is possible to create light.

Elie Wiesel

My kids remind me of this every day. The life, energy, and happiness in their eyes mean everything to me, and I will NOT let them down.

So, next time it rains — Go outside and dance. Sing. Stomp in muddy puddles. Take back the laughter and fun in your life. You got this! 🤜🤛

Lastly, if you ever want to talk, laugh, or maybe cry… I’m here. Reach out, please. We’re ALL in this together, and I’m here for YOU! 

About Author

Wife. Mother. Career junkie. Amazon addict. 🍎 snob. Live for new 🎥 Tuesday. And, 🌮 Tuesday. 40 is the new 30! Everything is A-W-E-S-O-M-E! 😎

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